No one tells you how grief will wake you up in the middle of the night
No one tells you how the tears won’t stop, and you’ll wonder if your eyes can ever go dry No one tells you how losing him so young makes you afraid of death You aren’t even afraid of dying but you are terrified of dying before you truly get the chance to live No one tells you that you will have to hold your little sister up as she crumbles to the ground the moment she hears that her Daddy is never coming back No one tells you how two years without him will feel like almost a decade No one tells you that everything you thought was important will suddenly become insignificant No one tells you how you will dread the very day that was meant to be the happiest day of your life because you know he won’t be there to walk you down the aisle No one tells you that the only solid memories you will have of him come in the form of pictures that can so easily be lost or erased No one tells you that you will always miss him no matter how much time has passed No one tells you how you will see his face in the eyes of the black man on the corner of the street No one tells you anything No one warns you about loss But how could they? How can you truly prepare someone for the worst day of their life? How can you truly explain to someone the hollowness that comes with losing your Dad before you’re able to get married or have kids? Oh how I would do absolutely anything to be able to watch Daddy play with my kids. No one tells you how you will constantly wonder what if… What if he was still here...? What if I answered his phone call...? What if I let him visit me when he asked…? What if I told him one extra time, I love him…? Grief is the absolute worst thing I’ve ever known. It has crumpled me up into a million pieces. I never knew I could experience an ache, an emptiness, an anger, and hollowness so deep. But no one tells you.
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AuthorRecent Brock & Queen's graduate and Third Year Teacher! I love to talk about life, justice and faith. Archives
July 2022
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