So, I spent most of my third week in Guatemala recovering from Covid. Yep, of all places to get Covid, I got it here.
On Monday morning I had two classes at the school. My throat had a little tickle in it, and I thought it would just go away. But the next day, I did not feel good. I had body aches, chills, a horrible headache and was so tired. I took a Covid test to be safe but it came back negative. I thought I just had the flu. I was slowly starting to feel better but still had some of my symptoms on Thursday so I decided to take another test and it came back positive. I was actually surprised when I saw it was positive. I definitely was not expecting my first time getting Covid to be in another country. I had to isolate for five days. My isolation period just ended yesterday. Although most of my symptoms are gone, I am extremely tired and have very little energy. Doing simple tasks make me feel wiped out. I did my laundry today and felt like I could barely walk up the few stairs to get to my room. I will be taking it easy and slow during this last week I have here. It is unfortunate that my trip had to end with me staying in my bed for most of the day but getting Covid really reminded me to slow down. I think the Lord knew I just needed to take a break, instead of constantly doing something. I am so used to doing stuff all the time, that I often equate slowing down with boredom. But after the school year I've had, I'm realizing that my body needs rest even more than I realize. Honestly, even coming to volunteer in Guatemala for a whole month was pushing things for me more than I think I realized at the time that I booked this trip. And a part of me wonders if God used Covid just to give me space to truly rest here. So often it isn't until I am forced to rest because my body has no other choice, that I actually allow myself to slow down without feeling guilty. So, for August I am prioritizing rest. I will enjoy every slow morning and having no plans. I will spend my days at the beach reading books, listening to music and journalling. I am going to give myself space to truly rest for the second half of this summer, because God knows I need it. My second year of teaching was VERY hard on my body mentally and physically. I was worn out after this past year. But instead of just giving myself permission to do nothing at all and just take time to recover, I planned to volunteer in Guatemala for five days a week, 7 hours a day. I don't regret coming to Guatemala at all. I am thankful I was able to spend my time here. But I think even my decision to volunteer here after such a hectic school year is showing me how often I resort to busyness because I hate the idea of boredom. Sometimes it's a good thing to be busy and sometimes it's a good thing not to be. This summer has been slowly showing me how to balance the two. I am learning how to listen to my body and actually respond to what it needs. I love how God uses even sickness to teach me something. I am praying that I will get the rest and peace that I need during the rest of this summer, before I go back to work in September.
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This is only my second time in Guatemala and my second time leaving North America. This time I am visiting on my own instead of with a group and although there's some challenges that come with travelling alone, I've been thankful for this time. I mean I am not truly alone because I am staying with two other girls, but deciding to visit a country initially alone is definitely a new experience for me.
For the first time in a long time, I feel truly happy and content with where I am in life. When there's joy inside of you, simple moments become joy-filled moments. I've been learning how to enjoy and appreciate my own company and the presence of God. I don't have to be surrounded by people to feel good, I don't have to do be busy to feel better about myself. There's something beautiful that happens when you just start to enjoy and appreciate the simple moments right in front of you. All of a sudden you realize that joy isn't as far off as you thought, and it isn't as hard to find as you belived. The first picture of me in the top left was taken when I was on the roof of the school. I wasn't doing anything specatular or worth documenting, but I felt so good. I looked at the mountains around me and sang and danced and felt so free and light and thankful. There's this temptation to believe that happiness is found in doing more, in spending more, in being around more people. But what if I told you the happiest moments I've experienced have been when I was alone in nature with God, or surrounded by one or two of the people I love most in this world. Happiness isn't found where you think it is. Sometimes you just have to open your eyes and appreciate what's right in front of you. I think being in Guatemala is teaching me that. There's something so calming and healing about being surrounded by nature and greenery and mountains. I look at the mountains and hills and just stand in awe. I just want to soak them in. I could stare at them all day. What if I approached life with that same awe? What if I just stood in awe of this life I've been given instead of worrying about what is coming next? What if I just took time to focus on the beauty right in front of me. My prayer is that thankfulness and joy would exude from me more often. I pray that I can sink deep into the moments right in front of me instead of letting fear take hold. This life is short and it's a sacred thing to be alive. I don't want to miss out on all that God is doing, I want to have a "joie de vivre" that comes from Almighty God. I want a joy that can't be taken away. I've been in Guatemala for almost two weeks.
I first arrived here on Friday, July 8 in the morning and had the weekend to settle in before classes started on Monday. I will be here for the next month and am teaching 2 English classes. The classes are very small: one class has six students and the other has only two. It has been really nice to experience teaching in a new and different context. After teaching this year in Ontario with my first classroom for the whole year, I felt very burnt out and exhausted. It has been refreshing being able to experience teaching in a context that doesn't feel draining but meaningful. I love being able to help students gain a skill that will be valuable for them in the future. My students are very respectful and work hard. And I have been enjoying these past two weeks teaching them. Guatemala is such a beautiful country and I don't know if I will ever get over waking up to the mountains every morning. I could look at them every day. My new favorite thing has been noticing all the beautiful and different flowers around the school. I am constantly taking pictures of the flowers here because they are gorgeous! My first week being here was a week of adjusting to new things. My stomach didn't feel the greatest the first week and I felt nauseous and had stomach cramps for a few days. But it has been nice slowly being able to adjust into my new routine. I have to be at the school for 7 am and we finish at 2:30. Every morning we start the day with devotionals and worship God together. It's such a blessing being in the presence of God with other people every single day. Since being here I've realized that dreams coming true, doesn't mean that everything will be easy and rose-colored. I have had to adjust to being in Guatemala in a context that is so different than my last trip here. I did not come down with a group but on my own. Although I live with two other girls who also teach at the school, they are both very independent. Cooking and grocery shopping for yourself in a new country is also a whole new experience! There have been a lot of new and uncomfortable experiences that come with being in a new country, especially when you aren't proficient in the dominant language. But I'm learning that just because things are hard, does not mean that they are not good. The longer I am here, the more thankful I am that I get to spend this month in this country. I feel like God has a lot to speak to me and teach me while I am here and I want to be open to what He wants to do. I'm thankful that He allowed me to come back at just the right time, for the right length of time. I am praying that my last two weeks here will be fun but also meaningful. I'll be back soon with even more flower pictures!! Talk soon, Shana Shaye In 2017 I went to Guatemala for seven weeks with an organization called Global Shore Opportunities. Those 7 weeks in Guatemala marked me in a way that I can't fully explain and ever since I've left I have been dreaming of going back. There are so many things about my trip to Guatemala that resonate so deeply with me. I think one of the things about Guatemala that I never let go of, was how much at home I felt there. I have lived in Canada my whole life, up to now I have lived in four different cities, yet I never felt as at home in any of these places the same way I did in Guatemala.
It was the simple things that made a foreign place feel like home to me. It was the way that people would say good morning to each other every time they passed one another by. It was the way that people would greet each other with a kiss on both cheeks. I loved how most people had a skin color that was close to mine. I loved how smoothly the Spanish language rolled off of people's tongues, sounding like music to my ears. I loved how hospitable and warm the people were, how they welcomed me a stranger into their home with joy. I loved the way the mountains would greet me every morning. I loved the sound of roosters in the morning, the company of stray dogs and the smell of fire. My heart felt a special connection to Guatemala for all of these reasons and since I left in 2017, I kept thinking of ways that I could go back, but it was never the right time because of my school schedule and life events outside of my control. Yet, I kept holding on to the dream of one day going back to Guatemala. At one point, I thought of giving up on this dream because it felt like it was never going to be the right time. And on many occasions I questioned the validity of this dream. Did I create an unrealistic picture of Guatemala in my head and that's why I wanted to go back? Did I feel such a strong connection to this place because it was the first country I traveled to outside of North America? All of these doubts had some level of truth to them and I think it was important for me to ask myself these questions but rather than embracing this dream that I had, I was trying to undermine its validity. Now, 5 years later I will be going back to Guatemala. I leave in three days. It's crazy because I first wrote the draft for this blog post in December 2019 and it is now July 2022. Dreams do come true even if they seem small and even if they don't happen in the timeframe you had in your mind. I'm writing this for myself. To remind myself to keep holding on to my dreams even when they feel like they are too far away or unrealistic. It's so easy to question ourselves and wonder if our dreams even matter because they are taking so much longer to unfold then we ever imagined. But I strongly believe that God places small and big dreams on our hearts. Dreams give us a glimpse of a future we can't yet see but God can. Dreams allow us this unique opportunity to practice faith, to continue believing in what we can't see hoping that one day it will become our reality. I've had many dreams in my short life and many more I have for my future and every time a dream or prayer of mine comes to be, I stand in awe all over again. Our dreams matter to God and they should matter to us too. |
AuthorRecent Brock & Queen's graduate and Third Year Teacher! I love to talk about life, justice and faith. Archives
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