What if God wanted us to know his heart in the longing more than He wanted to give us the thing we long for? What if the longing and waiting seasons of our life were meant to point us closer to God and not further away from Him? What if instead of setting our eyes on the thing our hearts desire, we set our eyes on the One who is in control of all things. God has been slowly revealing his heart to me, and I am beginning to see things more clearly that I have overlooked for so many years. I think back to all the things I've longed for and desired in my short life. But the more I go through this thing called life, the more I realize that everything my heart has longed for, is found fully and completely in Him. My desires are good and valid, yes, but what if the purpose of my desires was meant to point me back to the one who knows my heart best? So many of my prayers over the years have been for God to fulfill these desires in my heart and I think it's ok to ask Him for things. But I wonder if somewhere along the way I became so obsessed with the gifts God could give that I overlooked that He is the Greatest Gift I could ever have or know.
Marriage and having a family of my own has been something I've wanted for a very long time. I have a big family and I absolutely love my people and I always looked forward to having my own family one day. I'm also 24 and have never had a boyfriend. I think not having something you want, sometimes makes you want it even more. Much of my young adult years have been spent talking about and wondering about boys and the possibility of finding love. I have exhausted my thoughts & words talking about love with my friends. But I am still 24 and just as single as I've ever been. I feel like not too long ago, this would have really bothered me and sometimes it still does. But recently, something has been shifting in my heart. The more I spend time with the Maker of the Universe, the more the earthly desires of my heart seem to not be so important. I think over the years, I have actually become obsessed with love (even though I hate to admit it). I looked for love every chance I got, wondered in my mind if the next guy I met could be it? My mind has been on over-active mode, seeking love in every corner. But what has this obsessive thinking actually ever done for me? Except make me feel more anxious and exhausted over the years. For the first time, I feel like I am actually ready to let this go. I have tried so hard to have control over something I have so little control over. Yes, I can control where I go and put myself in places to meet new people. But when it comes to finding a forever kind of love, there is only so much I can do. Instead of focusing so much on what I want one day that I miss out on what I already have, I am choosing to set my eyes on the One who holds the whole world in His hands. He is the thing my heart truly longs for. All of these desires I have, are meant to draw my heart back to Him. What if the waiting was more powerful than I ever thought? What if it was true that God craved to meet with us in the unfulfilled longings and what if we welcomed Him? What if the greatest thing that could come out of waiting on God is that we become closer to Him in the process? Even though there are things I hope for in my future that aren't apart of my current reality, I don't want to miss out on what God does best in the waiting seasons of life. He wants me to want Him even MORE than I want his gifts. He alone fulfills the deepest longings and desires of my heart. My soul is restless until I find rest in Him. Generations of belivers looked ahead to the coming of the Messiah and I have unlimited access to Him through his Holy Spirit. When my eyes truly focus on who He has been and will be to me, the things of this world slowly start to fade. He is the prize. He is the thing my heart wants most. He is my Husband, Friend and Father. He is the One. It's so easy for me to be distracted by other things. Even then, God is so patient with me, and always reminds me of how close He is. He is the God who sees and hears every desire of my heart but He also offers me himself and that is the best thing He could ever give me.
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AuthorRecent Brock & Queen's graduate and Third Year Teacher! I love to talk about life, justice and faith. Archives
July 2022
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